Marriage Therapy & Insurance

Many couples contact me believing that their insurance will cover their therapy sessions. They may have been told as much by their insurance company. The real answer is, “maybe.”

Most behavioral health insurance plans only pay for the treatment of a mental health diagnosis. That diagnosis can then be treated through individual and/or family therapy (couples therapy), which the insurance will pay for.

Couples often seek help for relationship problems which may or may not involve mental health issues. Many relationship problems are simply due to the normal challenges of life and are not caused by a diagnosable mental illness.

If there is no mental illness to be diagnosed and treated, that’s good news! The “bad” news is that insurance won’t pay for your marriage therapy.

It is important to know what type of plan you have and exactly what it will pay for. Just because couples therapy is “covered” does not necessarily mean that you and/or your partner have a diagnosable, mental health condition that needs treatment.

There are some insurance plans and Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that will pay for a limited number of marriage therapy (or family therapy) sessions.

Since standard marriage therapy is typically not covered by insurance, I offer sliding scale fees to help make therapy affordable for my clients. Contact me for more information.

Incompatibility

“If Americans can be divorced for “incompatibility of temper” I cannot conceive why they are not all divorced. I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable. For a man and a woman, as such, are incompatible.” – G.K. Chesterton, What’s Wrong With The World

Couples that come to me for help often are struggling with their differences. Many are under the illusion that a happy relationship demands compatibility. “We’re just too different,” they will assert. They become stuck in a cycle of disappointment because they believe they must be more alike in order to love each other and appreciate each other. They ask themselves, “Why can’t my spouse think like I do?” They miss opportunities to learn from each other and grow. They hold their differences in contempt rather than embracing and respecting them.

Often, what partners are really seeking is empathy. They are mistaking a desire for empathy as a desire for “sameness.” In reality, it was their differences that likely attracted them to each other in the first place. Now, due to lack of empathy and contempt, those attractions have become annoyances. They allow their disappointments to wound their friendship. Hence, they can’t “fight through” as a team and survive their incompatibilities.